I've had a horrific life of abuse since childhood. It is too long to go into all the details, but some of it includes being tied to a tree with a metal dog choker chain from the ages of 1-3, mother married 25x plus hundreds of other men in and out of our house, sexually, physically, verbally, and emotionally abused by mother and her men, never knew my real father, beaten daily to the point of migraine headaches daily starting at age 5, being left in front of the elementary school naked, daily beatings, never allowed to show any upset or anger, only allowed to smile even when bleeding under my clothes. She was also Munchensian-by-proxy. I was forced to take prescription drugs and drink chemicals from an early age every day. So that she could take me to the doctor and say "something was wrong and testing was needed." I was at the hospital constantly getting dye through my kidneys, brain, 6-hr glucose tolerance tests, shots, put on medications repeatedly. The only family I had was my mother and mentally ill grandmother. I was taken out of the home at age 14 by the state and bounced around foster family and group home situations.
Because of so much bizarre treatment, I never saw a healthy relationship or man. I desperately wanted to get married and start my own family and NEVER be divorced. But, I attracted abusive men like a magnet. And I had learned to tolerate so much abuse that I put up with it. I was married three times with each being worse than the last. The one I am separated from and trying to divorce now was the worst. Since I have no family, I had no where to go. By 2,000 my health was so bad with Migraines, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, depression, etc. that I had to quit working and go on disability.
I have been fighting my way back for two years. I left my abuser, got a small apt, went back to school for my masters degree in counseling. It has been so hard to make it in a large city with just $800 per month. My son is 17 now, I cannot provide the things he needs at this stage. I am ready to begin doing my internship in counseling. I was funded by my church to go to counseling myself five years ago. The counseling changed my life. I want to do for others what the counselor did for me in helping me to put my self esteem together and gain the courage to leave. I have worked hard and have all A's in school. But, my compassion and life experience are invaluable to others in the situation of abuse. I can help so many, but I need transportation. I cannot afford a car or lease payment, and have no one to turn to. If a private donar could see my story and have compassion for what I have endured and still tried to make something positive of it and join me in my quest to help others, I would be eternally grateful.
